Digital Collage
Burden
Digital Collage 61 cm x 91 cm September 2018 Exhibition Text This piece reflects on how I've felt about myself for many years. It showcases how my anxieties and insecurities haunt me and affect my life. The blindfold on my eyes displays how I'm going through life blindly and I let my insecurities control me. I was inspired by Lesley Oldaker's work and wanted to incorporate elements from her work into mine. |
Planning
Inspiration I was searching through many artists and art movements. I then stumbled upon an artist named Lesley Oldaker. She is a visual artist and her work focuses on modern society and how people interact with the space around them. I really loved what her work represented and I could relate to it. So I decided to incorporate some elements of her work into my digital collage. “ |
“Paintings.” Lesley Oldaker Contemporary Artist | Switzerland | UK, www.lesleyoldakerfineart.com/paintings-ctdr.
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Planning Sketches
This was my first sketch. I was initially going to have myself in the middle then have someone hug me and that was going to represent my anxiety holding/clinging onto me. I would be in the middle of the road. On that road is a dead end sign which represents that I can't go back and fix my mistakes. Then i was going to be surrounded by a forest.
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Experimentation
So I began to do my second sketch since that was the idea I was going to go with initially. I chose the second option first because I thought this was the best option to portray my story. It ended up not how I wanted and looked confusing. I cut out outlines of myself and began to put it together. I got pretty far on it but I wasn't very pleased with the outcome. So I ended up changing it and picked my third option.
Process
1. After researching and planning sketches, I finally had an idea. I first started with the background. I wanted the background to have a gradient effect where it was darker at the top and lighter at the bottom. Once I did that, I lowered the contrast and brightness to give a more ominous feeling.
2. Then I cut out the first image of me. I placed this image in the front. 3. I then used the brush tool and brushed over my eyes with black. 3. Then I started to cut out multiple images of myself and pasted them onto the background. For each of those I lowered the lightness all the way to 0 so that it was completely black. 4. I put those silhouettes into their positions. I put them in the middle like in a line. 5. Then I put a grainy filter over the background. 6. The last step was to put the final touches. Making sure the edges were clean and the silhouettes were in the right places. |
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Meaning/Essay
I’ve always been a very quiet and shy kid. I still am a very introverted person. I let myself get in the way of things that I want or opportunities that can be helpful or benefit me. But I overthink about them and let my own anxieties and insecurities get in the way of that. I almost feel like a burden to myself. In some situations I feel like I’m not in my body. Those insecurities also get in the way of making new bonds and relationships. I’m always scared of what people think, it also doesn’t help that I’m a very sensitive person. But I put on a straight face and place this wall between me and the world. I don’t like opening myself up to someone, then that person leaving my life. I’m scared of being vulnerable to people.
I feel very disconnected from the world. Especially at any social event and even at school. I’m always thinking that everyone is looking at me and I have to put on this fake image of myself. I feel like I’m not in my own body. There’s so many things I regret such as not creating new relationships, not challenging myself enough, not giving myself enough challenges knowing that I could do it, or just giving up. Even missing some important opportunities that could benefit me in my life.
I think a really significant moment in my life happened when I was in eighth grade. We had to write an essay about ourselves, similar to this. I wrote mine about my anxiety. We had a student teacher at the time and he was reading and grading the papers. He pulled me out of class one day and he asked me if I was okay and if I ever needed to talk to someone that I can talk to him. That was the first time anyone has ever told me that. I will never forget that moment. It was the first time that I felt validated and cared for.
Another significant moment was meeting and surrounding myself with good people. I had two really close friends. They're still my closest and bestest friends to this day. They helped me so much. They made me feel like I mattered and they could also relate to me. They didn’t make my anxiety taboo or the subject of mental health in general. I could to talk to them about everything. We were there for each other.
Not many people talk about mental health. It’s an important subject that I would have really appreciated if it was taught in school when I was younger. I’m learning to accept myself and to be more of myself in front of people. I want to create more friendships and help others with mental health issues. I don’t want to be a burden to myself anymore. I want to challenge myself without my insecurities getting in the way and I don’t want to doubt myself. It all takes time.
I’ve always been a very quiet and shy kid. I still am a very introverted person. I let myself get in the way of things that I want or opportunities that can be helpful or benefit me. But I overthink about them and let my own anxieties and insecurities get in the way of that. I almost feel like a burden to myself. In some situations I feel like I’m not in my body. Those insecurities also get in the way of making new bonds and relationships. I’m always scared of what people think, it also doesn’t help that I’m a very sensitive person. But I put on a straight face and place this wall between me and the world. I don’t like opening myself up to someone, then that person leaving my life. I’m scared of being vulnerable to people.
I feel very disconnected from the world. Especially at any social event and even at school. I’m always thinking that everyone is looking at me and I have to put on this fake image of myself. I feel like I’m not in my own body. There’s so many things I regret such as not creating new relationships, not challenging myself enough, not giving myself enough challenges knowing that I could do it, or just giving up. Even missing some important opportunities that could benefit me in my life.
I think a really significant moment in my life happened when I was in eighth grade. We had to write an essay about ourselves, similar to this. I wrote mine about my anxiety. We had a student teacher at the time and he was reading and grading the papers. He pulled me out of class one day and he asked me if I was okay and if I ever needed to talk to someone that I can talk to him. That was the first time anyone has ever told me that. I will never forget that moment. It was the first time that I felt validated and cared for.
Another significant moment was meeting and surrounding myself with good people. I had two really close friends. They're still my closest and bestest friends to this day. They helped me so much. They made me feel like I mattered and they could also relate to me. They didn’t make my anxiety taboo or the subject of mental health in general. I could to talk to them about everything. We were there for each other.
Not many people talk about mental health. It’s an important subject that I would have really appreciated if it was taught in school when I was younger. I’m learning to accept myself and to be more of myself in front of people. I want to create more friendships and help others with mental health issues. I don’t want to be a burden to myself anymore. I want to challenge myself without my insecurities getting in the way and I don’t want to doubt myself. It all takes time.
Critique
Compare and Contrast
Similarities
Similarities
- deeper, darker meaning
- shadowy like figures/silhouettes
- similar color scheme, very melancholy
- Oldaker talks more about society as a whole instead of individual people
- Where as I am just telling a story about myself.
- Oldaker uses more hues of blue and yellow
Reflection
Since this is my first time using Photoshop, I'm pleased with the outcome of my collage. It wasn't completely how I envisioned it. I enjoyed learning the different tools and effects of Photoshop. I wanted to add texture to the outlines like a more blurry, brushstroke effect but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. So I scratched that idea and left it as it is. I had many strengths and weaknesses. One strength that I demonstrated was cutting out the different images since I had to cut out so many. I began to be very precise with them. A weakness would be figuring out the layout and learning all the different tools. It was difficult for me to figure out the layout. I was trying to apply all the images in different places and some worked and some didn't. Then I finally figured out which one was the best. Also, there are so many tools and effects on Photoshop, it was hard to keep track of everything and to figure out which tool is which. I feel that my piece is simple but hopefully learning and practicing more in Photoshop will enhance and develop my skills in future pieces.
Since this is my first time using Photoshop, I'm pleased with the outcome of my collage. It wasn't completely how I envisioned it. I enjoyed learning the different tools and effects of Photoshop. I wanted to add texture to the outlines like a more blurry, brushstroke effect but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. So I scratched that idea and left it as it is. I had many strengths and weaknesses. One strength that I demonstrated was cutting out the different images since I had to cut out so many. I began to be very precise with them. A weakness would be figuring out the layout and learning all the different tools. It was difficult for me to figure out the layout. I was trying to apply all the images in different places and some worked and some didn't. Then I finally figured out which one was the best. Also, there are so many tools and effects on Photoshop, it was hard to keep track of everything and to figure out which tool is which. I feel that my piece is simple but hopefully learning and practicing more in Photoshop will enhance and develop my skills in future pieces.
ACT Responses
Clearly explain how you are able to identify the cause-effect relationships between your inspiration and its effect upon your artwork:
My inspiration was Lesley Oldaker. Her artwork has a very melancholic feeling which I tried to portray in my piece. She uses hues of blues and blacks to symbolize sadness and depression. I utilized black and white, more darker colors, to represent sadness and pain as well. She has many blurred out people in the background which is what I tried to do with the silhouettes of myself in the background.
What is the overall approach (pov) the author (from research) has regarding the topic of your inspiration?
The author wrote that Lesley Oldaker explores and observes modern day society. She incorporates the effects of current social conditions into her work and how people interact with the space around them.
What kind of generalizations and conclusions have you discovered about people, ideas, cultures, etc. while you researched your inspiration?
I discovered through Oldaker's work that every person interacts with their environment differently. She incorporates moments of sadness and grief.
What was the central idea or theme around your inspirational research?
The central idea was sadness and pain and how that affected my life. My aim was to express what I was feeling but to also learn to accept myself.
What kind of inferences did you make while reading your research?
The inferences I created was that Oldaker wanted to convey the sense of belonging, displacement, and relevance in her artwork. She explored the relationships, nature, and purpose of people in a moving environment.
Clearly explain how you are able to identify the cause-effect relationships between your inspiration and its effect upon your artwork:
My inspiration was Lesley Oldaker. Her artwork has a very melancholic feeling which I tried to portray in my piece. She uses hues of blues and blacks to symbolize sadness and depression. I utilized black and white, more darker colors, to represent sadness and pain as well. She has many blurred out people in the background which is what I tried to do with the silhouettes of myself in the background.
What is the overall approach (pov) the author (from research) has regarding the topic of your inspiration?
The author wrote that Lesley Oldaker explores and observes modern day society. She incorporates the effects of current social conditions into her work and how people interact with the space around them.
What kind of generalizations and conclusions have you discovered about people, ideas, cultures, etc. while you researched your inspiration?
I discovered through Oldaker's work that every person interacts with their environment differently. She incorporates moments of sadness and grief.
What was the central idea or theme around your inspirational research?
The central idea was sadness and pain and how that affected my life. My aim was to express what I was feeling but to also learn to accept myself.
What kind of inferences did you make while reading your research?
The inferences I created was that Oldaker wanted to convey the sense of belonging, displacement, and relevance in her artwork. She explored the relationships, nature, and purpose of people in a moving environment.
Bibliography
“Paintings.” Lesley Oldaker Contemporary Artist | Switzerland | UK, www.lesleyoldakerfineart.com/paintings-ctdr.
“Paintings.” Lesley Oldaker Contemporary Artist | Switzerland | UK, www.lesleyoldakerfineart.com/paintings-ctdr.